Fuller Than The Ass In My Pants

I love rolling into a new town and finding THE place to eat.  And by that I don’t mean the white linens and stemware, but rather the best pub where the locals go for an ice cold locally made draught beer and good old fashioned home cooking.  Best part of the trip!

We’ve discovered some amazing places and in some cases it is the ONLY thing the town has – the local pub.  You can never go wrong…well…I really shouldn’t say that cause there was this time where everything did go wrong…like how can you mess up a grill cheese?  I won’t give you the horrid details.

But generally we are always experiencing good food and cold beer.  One year we went to a new pub in Cache Creek, BC.  It was known as a biker bar and was overlooking the river.  In we walk – the best part – one beer limit if you are riding.  Nicely done.

We’ve developed a keen eye for finding the local watering hole now.  And my husband has gotten really good at fast u-turns and sometimes even does a few figure eights as I point and yell – let’s try that one!

This past summer we travelled with Larry who had such a love and appreciation for everything he ate.  It was great to watch him order and then absolutely enjoy his meal.  I love people who have a passion for food – it is there to enjoy and taste not just to “fill the hole”.  After every meal Larry would say ” I am fuller than the ass in my pants”.  At first we burst into laughter…like how do did he come up with that?!  After a week on the road it became “the” saying…how can you truly beat that?

I can’t wait for this year to see what other cool pubs and restaurants we are going to discover.  Although it’s all about the journey and all that philosophical stuff but honestly NOTHING beats that first sip of ice cold locally brewed draught at the end of an amazing day.

Do Not Hump

TrainIt’s amazing the things you see on a motorcycle.  There are times where I am just mesmorized by the scenery and I am dreaming with my eyes open.  I always make a point of enjoying my vantage point from the back.

Sometimes I get lost in my revery and it’s either a sharp corner that snaps me out of my day dreaming or something that catches my eye.  In this case, it was the “something”.

We were travelling through the amazing roads of Washington getting ready to cross into Oregon.  The road we were on was parallel to a train track.  We love trains so I am always looking for them.  In this case, it was a substation with trains sitting on the track waiting for their next assignment.

Nothing too exciting I know – except when we drove by I could have sworn the front bumpers of these trains had “DO NO HUMP” written in big bold lettering.  I am like…WT…so I snap my head around to catch it again and yup they say ” DO NOT HUMP”.  Well, let me tell you it took a long time before I could stop laughing.

Like, really?  I get what they were saying – but is it really proper English? Maybe it was train terminology – regardless, I kept thinking what is wrong with “DO NOT BUMP” or “DO NOT ATTACH” or anything but “DO NOT HUMP”.

What a lonely life those trains have….

Dueling Toilets

Dueling Toilet

Got your attention!

One of the perils of taking the “off the beaten track” twisty roads is finding a bathroom. Adding to that, is drinking a litre (1/3 of a gallon) of water in 30c (92 Fahrenheit) heat! Now I am not opposed to working with nature, but hey, if a lady can find a bathroom – I am in.

So here we are on one of those days….was I happy when I saw that yellow clam shell on the horizon. Naturally, we stop and all of a sudden everyone has to go to the washroom. In we march, kind of like a parade of leather.

We stand in line like good little school children waiting our turn. My girlfriend walks out and says – you and Betti can go in. I am like….okay….I walk in, turn the corner and burst out laughing. There in the middle of this bathroom sits two toilets side by side….I mean no doors, no walls, just out in the open. Now that’s a first! After my giggles subside I realize why I am in there.

Back on the bikes we go. Now as I have a habit of repeating the need to stop the bike. We are on day three. We stop for lunch. Prior to getting ready to get back on the bike, I head to the bathroom. I open the door – two stalls. Great in I step – yup…I stop dead – two toilets in the same stall. What? I am definitely laughing now.

Never in all my travels have I seen this before – dueling toilets. Not sure of the rational….okay boys….I to have an imagination…

Is it convenience?  Is it a “going above and beyond” in service? What is it?  Never did figure it out…but I will give them credit for comic relief whatever the reasoning.

Whole different meaning to the bitch ‘pad’.

Stinky Kitty or Semi?

First, I would like to apologize for not blogging. Someone out there in the world of blogging had nothing better do to but to hack into my website and virus it! Like seriously? So, it’s taken a great group of friends to help me rebuild it. I AM BACK!

Dead cat

Picture this, we are on a week-long motorcycle trip and this is day three. We just finished the most amazing twisties ever – another top 10 road from Wenatchee, WA, to Troutdale, OR.

As the navigator on this extra-ordinary trip, I am a bit confused with my lefts and rights (imagine that) so I ask my husband to pull over. Now, it’s important to note here we are travelling with two other bikes (two Goldwing’s and one Harley – totally another story) and it is currently 99 degrees out. Think about the heat while you read my next paragraph.

We pull over, stop. I all of a sudden get a whiff of something really awful and know immediately there is something quite dead nearby. I happen to look in the side mirror and there is my girlfriend just about to step out in front on an on-coming semi – we all yell out and her husband grabs her. Crisis averted…but we are a little freaked out.

I jump off my bike and the smell hits me even more – I walk over to her and I am like – what were you thinking? Her hands are covering her face and she says – all I saw was the dead cat and my instinct was to run from the smell! I look down….and yup, she picked the semi over the very stinky and very dead cat.

Needless to say we jump immediately back on the bikes and got the hell outta there!

Now, I now there are lots of you thinking some nasty thoughts right now. Believe me; the tears of laughter were rolling down our cheeks at the bar that night as we found all the sayings and synonyms in the world to truly best describe this event.

Ultimately, what it comes down to is when in smell doubt – keep going.

Bitch Pad

I am re-purposing this blog in dedication to my best friend Shadow.  Shadow had a tragic accident this week, and we had to make the horrid decision to put our beloved German Shephard down.  Shadow, I love you with all my heart and this one is for you. xx

Just when I think I own the term ‘bitch pad’, I discover I have been one up’d by a scene that had me totally beat.

As most bitch pad riders do, I was day dreaming on the back and just simply taking in the amazing views as we cruised along.  I consider myself a pretty sane person and I am sure my logic is still intact….but did I really just see a dog on the back of a passing motorcycle?  And was she really wearing goggles?

My first thought was how is that dog holding on?  How did he train her to do that? How does it feel wearing those goggles? Not to mention that oh so cool bandana?

Then I switched my thoughts sitting there from the dog’s perspective…..

As most bitch pad riders do, I was day dreaming on the back and just simply taking in the amazing views as we cruised along.  I  consider myself a pretty smart bitch and I am sure my logic is still intact….but did I really just see a weird looking bitch on the back of a passing motorcycle?  And was she really wearing a helmet?

My first thought was how uncomfortable is she with only two legs to sit back there?  How did he train her to do that? How does it feel wearing that helmet? Not to mention that oh so cool black leather jacket?

All is relative in the bitch pad world I guess….so my canine friends, from one bitch pad rider to another….I dare you to try and wave!