That’s right, I know you spa ladies are out there enjoying your relaxation massages, facials, and an overall general well being of the spa.  But, I am hear to tell you, the Bitch Pad is just as relaxing and beneficial.

Let’s take facials for instance.  Mud masks have got nothing on the deisel and road grime masks I experience.  And you know, people are continually shocked when I tell them I am 51, perhaps I have discovered the ‘fountain of youth’?!

Then there is the aromatherapy one enjoys at the spa.  Well, my aromatherapy comes in cherry, apple, and peach blossoms.  What a beautiful scent as I relax on my Bitch Pad and let the worries of the day disappear around each corner.  Ahhh….

Now your massage is nice and quiet but I have to say, I get that on my Bitch Pad too.  Perhaps it’s not intentional, but the occaisional bumpy road or washer board gravel does wonders for the back.  Okay, maybe I am stretching this comparison a bit much – but hey, it’s my blog!

Finally, there is that peaceful music they pipe in during your spa experience.  On the Bitch Pad, I hear birds, rivers running, wind flowing, and the overall sounds of nature.  Music to my ears and senses.

So, if you haven’t figured it out, I am not a spa type of girl; however, I have now discovered the Bitch Pad has equal benefits and I haven’t paid a cent to sit back there in a totaly relaxed state and in my own thoughts as I watch the world go by.

Try it you spa ladies…you will be surprised.

‘Tis the season to work on your exorcism impressions – because you have to have eyes all around your head this time of year!

Spring is here and we are heading out on our newly washed and chromed up motorcycles.  This also means,  so are the drivers in their cars.  And we know as soon as they get into their cars, their blind spots are compounded by not looking!

Time to strengthen your neck muscles to get in shape for the amount of shoulder checks and rechecks you are going to do this time of year.  This will get you ready for the battle of lanes!

This doesn’t deter us from enjoying every moment of finally hitting the open road, it should just ensure we are extra cautious until the drivers are used to us sharing their roads.

It probably wouldn’t hurt to work on your flexes with the middle finger either…cause we all know we are going to have to use it.

So in summary, eye exercises, neck toning, and finger dexterity – the three keys to a successful start to our season.  It only takes a few minutes a day to ensure drivers will pay attention.

PS - fellow bitch pad riders, this is meant for you too – especially the finger dexterity.  No harm being the back up when needed!

Oh…I love the color palet of Spring.  Light pinks, similar mauves, mint greens, and chrome…wait chrome?  Yes, the bikes are out!  Just as I had hoped coming back from two weeks of sun and fun in the Baja.

Our bike is chomping at the spokes to get out.  But for now, it has to settle for being plugged into the battery charger and being polished getting ready for its debut.  Of course, I am ensuring my ‘bitch pad’ is also well taken care of!

The next step will be the notice to renew our insurance…yes, now that is a true sign of Spring as my husband heads out to renew our license.  He speeds back, throws the sticker on the plate and off we go.

I can already feel the wind in my hair and my imagination is running wild for bitch pad stories. What will it be this year? How much fun can I have with my writing?  Oh, I can hardly wait!

The best ride is the first one of the season.  Cause you know their are many more kilometers ahead while the sun shines for the next 5 months.

This year is it is our 10th Annual motorcycle trip with our riding friends…so will I have bitch pad stories or what?  Oh right….some bitch pad stories stay behind just like the dust we travel over….but you know, I won’t disappoint.

Let the count down begin.  Keep on bitchin’!

For those of you who follow my blog, you will recollect I wrote about our Baja trip last year.  This time, I am writing before we head out.  Because I am sitting here the night before we leave remembering last year’s holiday and the number of motocycles we saw and heard.

For those of you lucky enough to be also heading down to the Baja on your two wheels – remember to give me a wave as you pass the Loreto golf course, cause that’s where I will be.  That’s right this chick is heading down with her sticks and sans her bitch pad.

A girl likes variety!  However, I know as I stand there and tee up at the 12th hole and hear that rumble in the distance, my envy will kick in.  Then as I plonk my shot 100 yards ahead, I will stand watching you ride by wishfully thinking that was me on the back.

Ride safe down the coast of the Baja and watch for those rowdy cows who don’t seem to see vehicles coming there way.  Yes, they may move slow – but they sure know how to get in the way.

Maybe this year I will get the chance to dirt bike through the desert…what sense of freedom that would be.  Afterall, when in the Baja…dirt bike!!

When we are back, we will have turned the corner on old man winter.  Which means then I can resume my trusty position on the bitch pad where my imagination will linger and take off developing stories for this blog.

Happy bitchin’.

I remember the first ride on the bitch pad.  My boyfriend, whom you all know now as my husband Bart, picked me up.  His first passenger on his new bike.  The bitch pad was a simple seat, no sissy bar, no gel comfort, just a “pad”.  I sat with anticipation wrapping my arms around this amazing man.  The whole trip my arms did not leave the comfort of his waist.

Six months later, when we realized this relationship was going places, Bart got the bitch pad augmented with gel and had it enlarged.  Oh the comfort.  I still snuggled up with my arms wrapped around him.

A few months later, Bart introduced me to the sissy bar.  Took me about three trips, but then I got the hang of it.  I can now lean back on my bitch pad and relax a little.  Hmm….I don’t really need to hang on as tight either…so my hands now rest on his waist.

Yup…you know where this is going.  The next stage was a better sissy bar new seat and independence.  I now sat with my arms resting on my legs or tucked behind Bart’s back.  What a life!  I felt so comfy.

Fast forward to a year ago, the new Goldwing…my new seat of comfort.  I have arm rests!  I am now snug as a bug!  My arms no longer hug my husband and my hands no longer rest on his waist.  Oh the pure comfort.

Bart on the other hand….well, as much as he loves the fact I am an excellent passenger and he forgets I am back there, I truly believe secretly he is missing my arms wrapped around him.  So, every so often I make sure I hang on for dear life so that he knows…I may have a comfortable bitch pad, but I have an even better husband.

I want to take this time of year to thank all of you who have read my blog, provided feedback, have been blog guest writers, and most of all who have supported my blog.  This blog started on a whim of an idea while I was…yes, sitting on the bitch pad.

After researching the net for a blog of this ilk, I noticed there was nothing like it.  So, I was carving the way for other bitch pad riders.  It’s been a fun year sharing my stories.  My goal is always to bring back a memory or give you a giggle for the day.

I hope I have achieved that, if not, then you need to keep reading this blog!

For those of you who live in a province, state, or country that doesn’t get snow or cold this time of year, please keep the chrome side up.

Here’s to a New Year of new adventures, new fellow rider friends, and most of all belly laughs.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy New Year everyone!

Okay, you are going to have to indulge me with this blog…you see, I am going to step off the back of the bike with this story and step into the seat beside the helm of our boat.

It all started with “you know how much I love you Sweetheart?” My spidy senses immediately kick in and I say ”you bought a boat!”. The smile on his face and the excitement in his eyes gave me the answer.

Fast forward to five months later, the addition to our toy family is sitting in our driveway – a completely reconditioned (with the hard work of my husband) 1975 19′ Searay in a beautiful blue. It looks fantastic.

On the first sunny warm Friday night we take it out.  Yeah…something, I am totally excited for…NOT! You see, I don’t like water.  To me, water is meant to shower in or drink – that’s it!  Not float on top of with only 4 inches separating me and the deep dark yucky under me.  Can’t wait.

But hey, I am brave and I can do this for my husband who is like a 12 year old at Christmas (remember the love part here).  So, off we go to launch the boat. We have the boat backed into the water when Bart turns to me and says; “okay Sweetie, get in the truck and back it up until I say stop.”  Wait…let me get this right – you want me to take a perfectly road worthy truck and back it into water???  Hence, the title to this blog The “bitch” pad….I am not happy.

But I do it…in the boat goes with my heart pounding and my fear in my throat. I then drive the boat out of the water and park it….yet, another story entirely.

I slowely walk back to the boat as now is the moment of truth…can I do it?  I get in the boat.  I sit on my new “bitch pad” and quietly observe the water and the scenery. I did it…I sat in a boat for two hours…and have to say I loved the experience.

I could have done without the 360 turn where inadvertantly I yelled out as the water came way to close to my shoulders. The ‘bitch” pad became very apparent to Bart and he resumed his normal speed and in a straight line.

Ugh….helmets!  Yes, I know – they save lives…and believe me I know first hand.  But why do they have to look so funny on me!  I have a small head so every time I put on my helmet I feel like I am going to topple over. And then there’s the chin strap….who needs a face lift – just wear a helmet all summer for a few years!

My first helmet was black, and although DOT approved, was more like a half of a helmet. Then I found a cool white with blue flames helmet.  I wore that helmet for 4 four years.  I loved it.

That was until that faithful day we ride by a window and I saw my reflection. Seriously…I do have a face…it’s hidden underneath the crater on my head. How can I sit up when this helmet looks like I should topple forward with my head hung low?!

Then, I decide to learn to ride my own bike, I had to buy a full face helmet. You weren’t allowed to ride with any other helmet in class.  Talk about toppling over…not to mention I was convinced I was related to Marvin the Martian on Bugs Bunny.  I looked identical to him – all helmet and no head.  How embarrassing!

With all the technology and science out there, can’t one of you invent a DOT approved, and safety first, helmet that looks somewhat streamlined?  I mean for the sake of my vanity just do it!

As the years past, my compromise for looking like Aunt Marvin The Martian is my helmet is cool.  It’s got butterflies, it’s white with pink, amber and green, and I feel pretty good in it. If I keep telling myself that…I will learn to believe it!

See? another advantage to riding on the bitch pad - I am hiding behind the driver.  So you don’t see the martian on the back until I am passing you or you are stuck behind me (which is highly unlikely the way we ride).

We were travelling with friends through Waterton National Park down to Whitefish Montana.The morning we got up to leave Waterton, it was raining.  Now, normally this would have been okay, but not today, as we didn’t have rain gear. So, the debat was to tough it out or get something to keep us dry.

I had, what I thought would be, a great idea….why don’t we pick up one of those rain capes to wear? That should work!  So, off to the store we go, as I guess everyone thought I was brilliant.  $2.99 – even better.  Out of the package, and over my head it goes – even in a nice white!

We set off for what we are thinking is going to be a nice dry trip.  Fast forward to about 15 minutes when we hit the highway south.  I am looking around, and yes it’s raining and cold but the views are amazing and I am layered up.  Then I notice something.  I look down, and my cape is billowing in the wind and shredding by the second.  I look at Bart’s and his cape is now a shoulder pad. Well, that’s when the giggles start.

By the time we reach the border, we have no capes – they have completely shredded in the wind.  Our friends pull over beside us and they have tears rolling down their cheeks from laughing so hard.  Picture their view from riding behind us!  Roger thought is was snowing…he kept looking up to the sky and around and it looked like rain, but he swore snowflakes were hitting him in the face. Then, he looked ahead and saw the snow making coming from my shoulders….well, that was it for him…pure belly laughs.

I guess that truly challenged my cool factor with my leathers…and I learned it wasn’t a good idea at all afterall.  But hey, at least I was able to provide some comic relief from my bitch pad  bad rain.

Yet another amazing trip through the twisty roads of Washington in the beautiful summer heat.  We are approaching our final leg of our journey as we begin to make our way back up to Canada. This day, our destination is Conconully (pronounced cun-co-nul-ly).  A two bar, two general store, and one espresso kiosk town.

Comstock hotel is our final resting place (excuse the pun which you will understand later in the story) – beautifully situated on the river.  We got the ‘honeymoon’ suite….which I didn’t understand until I laid in bed and looked up and saw a very familiar figure lying in bed reflecting down at me through the MIRROR!

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am still in “leave your work blackberry at home” training.  Although I am getting better, I still have the nasty habit of checking it at the end of the day to ensure no emergencies or urgent  (my team has strict instructions to put in the subject line or I don’t open them) messages need my attention – so I am almost there.  So, this day is no different – I turn on the blackberry and no service, dead, nada.

Hmmm….okay – no problem.  Once we are settled at the Tamarack Saloon having a cool beer, I ask about cell service.  “Oh, you have to go to the cemetery.  That’s the only place you can get cell service”.

Okay, let me get this straight – the cemetery people don’t need cell service, my phone is dead in town, yet comes alive at the cemetery.  Got it….although I am loving the irony all the way.  I don’t need to check my phone that badly to ride up to the cemetery in the dark and sit there amongst the tombstones…that’s just creepy!

After a great night in this amazing little town, which all of you should visit, we head out the next morning.  Well, I have to tell you I haven’t laughed like that in a long time, there at the cemetery are three cars and one truck lined up and every single person is …. yup, on their cell phones!

Never a dull moment on the bitch pad.